Browsing All posts tagged under »Snark«

An Idea Worth Considering: Tom Waits for President

August 9, 2016

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It’s here again: presidential general election season. Time, once more, to suffer through those ridiculous talking points and attack ads as the usual passel of rented baboons tries to bum-rush the electorate and steal the brass ring. It’s enough to make your brain go soft. Is Tom Waits such an outrageous choice for President? Can […]

American Masters on PBS: Nutty About the Nuge

August 16, 2015

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The American Masters series and the Jane Goodall Foundation for Excellence in Simian Endeavors join forces for the first time to explore the life and work of musician, pundit, dried animal jerky entrepreneur and unincarcerated pedophile Ted Nugent, a human/orangutan halfbreed, who has had an extraordinary career in the musical arts. Filmmakers Derek Ben-Duron and […]

Why Airlines Should Hire Mimes to Give the In-Flight Safety Demo

July 20, 2014

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Observations from a recent plane trip to FLA… I’ve never understood why airlines don’t hire mimes to do the in-flight safety demonstration. Seems like such a missed opportunity. Can’t you picture a mime walking you through the life vest safety procedure with his invisible safety vest? He’d be pulling the invisible safety cords, then making […]

Lazy Sunday: Sad New Dispatches from the Increasingly Most Marginally Engaging Man in the World

August 4, 2013

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I usually eschew the first person on this blog, not out of any innate sense of modesty but because it implies I’m speaking to an actual audience. A better analogy for what goes on here might be this: me standing in the Housewares aisle at Target, making non-sequitur announcements through a bullhorn while people shop […]

Bud Light Unveils New “Dogsbreath” and “Soft Chewy Squirrel” Flavors

July 24, 2013

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St. Louis, MO Anheuser-Busch senior director of brand strategy Riley Berringhauer today announced the release of two new flavors in the Bud Light product channel. “We’re extremely fortunate to be able to offer Bud Light drinkers two great, new ways to drink Bud Light: Bud Light Dogsbreath and Bud Light Soft Chewy Squirrel. I may […]

Beef Ice Cream; It’s What’s for Dessert

March 11, 2013

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Great ideas are born every day. Sometimes, they’re born of need (think of the cotton gin or the printing press). Sometimes, they’re born of necessity (the catapult, the ball peen hammer, my tin foil Hello Venus! helmet) and sometimes they’re just born, *poof,* out of someone’s brain for no other reason than just because. I’d […]

Time Traveling Reporter Worried He Might Unsuspectingly Erase Own Exis

March 8, 2013

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Trump Fires Hair. Hair Says, “Whatever.”

March 7, 2013

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New York, NY Real estate tycoon Donald Trump is back in the news, firing his hair Thursday after learning it had inked a three-book deal with publishing imprint William Morrow. “My hair is fired,” Trump informed reporters. “It might have a book deal. It might have representation. But it is fired hair. It won’t work […]