Browsing All posts tagged under »Keith Richards«

Keef Chronicles: The Keith Richards Reader

August 2, 2012


Last June, a funny thing happened: two people got together for dinner. One was a former U.S. President, state governor, law school graduate and general all-around “doer of good deeds” who has dedicated his life, with a few notable transgressions, to public service. The other was a former junkie of spectacular notoriety, founding member of […]

Keef Chronicles: Leggo My Limo

November 1, 2011


Cleveland 1973 Impressed with the contemporary aesthetic pioneered by the new Swingos Hotel in Cleveland, a luxury hostel that caters specifically to the decadent depravity of the touring rock and roll musician, Keith purchases four Cadillac Fleetwoods at auction and opens up his own Cleveland limousine service as a complementary venture. Christened, with typical ’70s […]

Keef Chronicles: Man in the Ray Charles Glasses

October 28, 2011


Toronto 1972 Ray Charles is a man who enjoys the finer things in life. A nice suit, a good beaujolais, some fancy wheels. He’s also a man who very much likes to save money. Sitting in his dressing room backstage during the Canadian leg of the Rolling Stones’ 1972 tour, Ray Charles is pondering a […]

Keef Chronicles: The Backstage Burrito

September 21, 2011


Portland, Oregon 1997 Backstage at PGE Park before a show on the Bridges to Babylon tour, Richards gets into a heated argument with Ronnie Wood over who between them is the more authentic lover of true Mexican cuisine. Wood points out that Peruvian ancestry on his mother’s side makes heat and spice natural staples of […]

Keef Chronicles: Flashback French Fries

August 21, 2011


Rome, 1972 Crashing for a few weeks at a friend’s villa between legs of the Stones’ world tour, Keith wakes up one afternoon with a craving for french fries. Finding that he’s alone in the house, he wanders out to the kitchen and starts rummaging through the freezer, grunting triumphantly as he pulls out an […]

Keef Chronicles: Rock and Roll Handyman

August 19, 2011


London 1987 Upset that Mick Jagger has blown off the Stones to tour the States as a solo act, Keith announces to friends that he’s giving up rock and roll and going straight. Two days later he shows up at the door of his local pub and offers his services as a handyman, brandishing his […]

Keef Chronicles: Amish Interlude

August 18, 2011


March, 1966 KO’d by 3 hits of mescaline during a tour stop in Hershey, PA, Keith goes AWOL and turns up a week later at the farm of Abram & Ruth Swartzendruber on the outskirts of rural Lancaster. Skeptical at first, the family slowly warms to him as he proves himself to be strong on […]

Keef Chronicles: Exercising Options

August 17, 2011


April, 2005 Unexpectedly pinched at the San Diego airport for a 1/2 ounce of cocaine he’d forgotten was in his sock, Keith pleads down to misdemeanor possession by agreeing to shoot his own exercise video at a local shopping mall and donate the proceeds to charity. Skeptics express their doubts as the date draws closer, […]

Keef Chronicles: Tofu Loco

August 16, 2011


Winter 2001 Out on the road for a grueling 10 city/20 show stretch, Keith hits a rough patch when his nutritionist puts him on an all-tofu diet and tells him to lay off the sauce. The resulting deficiency in his Vitamin C levels creates an extended period of obsessive/compulsive behavior that threatens to derail the […]

Keef Chronicles: Zonked Out in the Conch Republic

August 15, 2011


Key West 2004 Vacationing with friends on the 50 foot schooner Natural Tendencies, an inebriated Keith becomes separated from his entourage and accidentally stumbles into the World Sailfish Championship awards banquet on Key West’s Mallory Pier. After making small talk and posing for pictures, Richards abruptly lurches to the podium and yanks the microphone out […]

Keef Chronicles: Burbank Séance

August 14, 2011


November, 1993 Fox Television executives, desperate to hold on to advertising revenue earmarked for the just-cancelled Chevy Chase Show, try tricking Keith into hosting a replacement talk show as a stop gap measure. Network suits hire a psychic who, using a complicated system of wires and pulleys, enacts a fake séance in which the ghost […]

Keef Chronicles: The Dartford Latino

August 13, 2011


February, 1993 Keef gets bitten by the acting bug and has his people set up a meeting with director Brian DePalma, still casting for the lead in Carlito’s Way. Desperate to impress DePalma with how “method” he is, Richards undergoes melanin treatments to darken his skin, grows a pencil mustache, and eats plantain chips for […]

Keef Chronicles: The Kool Aid Incident

August 12, 2011


June 17th, 1997 In a protest over unpaid wages, Keith’s guitar tech soaks the master’s telecaster strings in Kool Aid before a show at RFK Stadium on the “Bridges to Babylon” tour. Keith, busy kibitzing backstage with magician Doug Henning and the young actor who played “Eddie” in “The Courtship of Eddie’s Father” doesn’t notice […]