Browsing All posts tagged under »Humour«

Rewriting History: Archie Bunker

November 13, 2016


Bunker, a lovable old coot with passionate opinions about “spics, coons, fags, and queers,” was a refreshing reminder that old-world white male attitudes were still acceptable in the changing moral climate of the early 1970s. ‘All in the Family,’ the TV show that launched the Archie Bunker character into American popular culture, was initially interpreted […]

An Idea Worth Considering: Tom Waits for President

August 9, 2016


It’s here again: presidential general election season. Time, once more, to suffer through those ridiculous talking points and attack ads as the usual passel of rented baboons tries to bum-rush the electorate and steal the brass ring. It’s enough to make your brain go soft. Is Tom Waits such an outrageous choice for President? Can […]

On Birds, Fifth Graders and ‘We Will Rock You’

May 8, 2016


So I’m sitting here looking out the window and thinking to myself that I must be getting old because I’m totally in love with the concept of #birds. I mean, how awesome is it that there are these little creatures that flit around chirping and trilling and they come in all shapes and sizes and […]

Monkeys Frighten Me

December 1, 2015


You wanna know what really terrifies me? #monkeys   They’re out there, just waiting for that evolutionary intelligence upgrade to kick in.  And when it does? We’ll be toast; running for the hills while they rifle the bank vaults and taunt us in their little scooters.

In Response to: ‘Phil Collins Is One of the Most Important Musicians Alive’

September 18, 2015


Thanks to the miracles of Facebook and the Interwebs, I came across this article on a site called ‘Shortlist’ the other day: It’s a short piece. Read it if you’re so inclined. The gist? This Shortlist writer considers Phil Collins to be ‘one of the most important musicians alive.’ We all have our differences […]

American Masters on PBS: Nutty About the Nuge

August 16, 2015


The American Masters series and the Jane Goodall Foundation for Excellence in Simian Endeavors join forces for the first time to explore the life and work of musician, pundit, dried animal jerky entrepreneur and unincarcerated pedophile Ted Nugent, a human/orangutan halfbreed, who has had an extraordinary career in the musical arts. Filmmakers Derek Ben-Duron and […]

Why Airlines Should Hire Mimes to Give the In-Flight Safety Demo

July 20, 2014


Observations from a recent plane trip to FLA… I’ve never understood why airlines don’t hire mimes to do the in-flight safety demonstration. Seems like such a missed opportunity. Can’t you picture a mime walking you through the life vest safety procedure with his invisible safety vest? He’d be pulling the invisible safety cords, then making […]

Farewell, Good Friend

June 20, 2014


June 18th, 2014 Our son Oliver died today. He was twelve. He was a cat. Yes, I know calling him ‘son’ is a bit of a stretch, especially to people who don’t have animals or whose hearts aren’t shaped in that very specific way, but that’s what he was — a son. My girlfriend and […]

Fox & Friends Blows Lid Off Obama’s Secret Underground Alien Sex Colony

October 9, 2013


New York, NY The Fox News Network’s morning show: Fox & Friends, continued a recent hot streak Wednesday when host Steve Doocy revealed details of an underground alien sex colony in Kenya operated by President Obama and other top Democrats. “President Barack Hussein Obama and his liberal harem have, for years, been re-routing defense department […]

Lazy Sunday: Sad New Dispatches from the Increasingly Most Marginally Engaging Man in the World

August 4, 2013


I usually eschew the first person on this blog, not out of any innate sense of modesty but because it implies I’m speaking to an actual audience. A better analogy for what goes on here might be this: me standing in the Housewares aisle at Target, making non-sequitur announcements through a bullhorn while people shop […]

This Week on Amish Mafia

May 2, 2013


This week on Amish Mafia: Jeremiah brings his Gun of the Hand to the Lancaster rumschpringa and says, “Ich bin die…” to Lindy Lengacher and the Herschberger-Schwartz clan. And the Swartzendruber sisters are on a bender — up to their bonnets in black-market wicker and gingham until a police chase ends in a buggy bust-up […]

Beef Ice Cream; It’s What’s for Dessert

March 11, 2013


Great ideas are born every day. Sometimes, they’re born of need (think of the cotton gin or the printing press). Sometimes, they’re born of necessity (the catapult, the ball peen hammer, my tin foil Hello Venus! helmet) and sometimes they’re just born, *poof,* out of someone’s brain for no other reason than just because. I’d […]

Trump Fires Hair. Hair Says, “Whatever.”

March 7, 2013


New York, NY Real estate tycoon Donald Trump is back in the news, firing his hair Thursday after learning it had inked a three-book deal with publishing imprint William Morrow. “My hair is fired,” Trump informed reporters. “It might have a book deal. It might have representation. But it is fired hair. It won’t work […]

Parents Still a Gigantic Pain in the Ass, According to New Kids’ Poll

March 2, 2013


Results of the 2012 Fisher Price Kids’ Poll, an informal polling of randomly selected  children aged 2 to 12, were released Thursday, confirming what all children have long suspected: parents are a total buzzkill. “No!” pouts little Jessica Park, 3, of Bellevue, WA when asked if she thinks her parents are too strict. “YES!” she […]

Striking Ventriloquist’s Dummies Begin Fourth Week Without Pay

July 10, 2012


Striking members of the International Brotherhood of Wooden Elocutionists elected to begin “phase 2” of their protest Monday, further prolonging a work-stoppage that has crippled geriatric entertainers and comedian Jeff Dunham. The “dummies,” among whose demands is the stipulation that they be referred to as “vocal reception engineers,” walked out, as it were, on June […]

5 Reasons Top 10 Lists Have Become the No.1 Hindrance to Workplace Productivity

June 15, 2012


According to a recent Gallup poll, Top Ten Lists have eclipsed kittens, talking cats, lite beer, sex, chili, and ice cubes as America’s new number 1 most favorite thing. Many Americans are claiming they can’t get through a single day without reading at least 7 of them and they’re seeking them out in alarming numbers. […]

Crabby Little Boy’s Face Freezes, Just Like His Mom Always Said it Would

June 13, 2012


Peevishly registering his displeasure at being forced to finish all the brussel sprouts on his plate, 8 year-old Delaney Steward of Maywood, NJ experienced an unexplained flash of facial paralysis Tuesday that has rendered his petulant expression permanent, just as his mother always warned might happen. Steward who, as mother Janet, 39, explains, has always […]