Forgetful College Student Can’t Remember If It’s “Beer Before Liquor” or “Liquor Before Beer”

Posted on June 4, 2012


Tom Delaney, 19, a freshman at Penn State University has just had 4 shots of Jack Daniels and 5 Michelob Ultras in the last hour and a half and can’t quite remember what sequence he’s had them in. To make matters worse, he’s just taken 2 bong hits and has now completely forgotten how the age-old drinkers maxim of “beer before liquor” or “liquor before beer” goes.

“Liquor before beer,” he thinks, is a sure-fire recipe for disaster that will make him puke. Unless it’s “beer before liquor.” That might make him puke, too.

He’d really like to figure it out but he’s not sure it matters at this point since he can’t remember whether he drank the whisky first or the beer first.

“That’s pretty funny,” he thinks to himself. Maybe he should ask someone- he wouldn’t want to get it wrong. He also wouldn’t want to look stupid. Probably better to keep his mouth shut. Boy, his sandals feel tight. That cute chick in his Intro to Psych class is really cute. “Maybe I’ll go lay down for a while,”  he thinks.

Posted in: Marginalia