Bay State Language Systems- Lesson 2: “Get the Fack Outta Heeyah” And Other Expressions of Endearment

Posted on October 7, 2011

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Welcome back! Thanks for joining us for Lesson 2 in Bay State Language Systems’ free introduction to the Upper Northeastern linguistic sciences. We hope you enjoyed learning all about Molly Corning’s contributions to New England history in Lesson 1. In this lesson, we’ll begin to delve a little deeper into the tips and tricks that will help you to talk like an authentic New Englander. Practice the included exercises as much as possible- but don’t overdo it! We don’t want you to wear yourself out before Lesson 3!

That’s all for now. I’d love to say more but I really can’t at the moment. Why? Because it’s wicked hahd!  :)

-Dr. Robert Loughinlin, CEO & Founder, Bay State Language Systems

“And another fackin’ thing…”

In the long history of the fackin’ world, only a few fackin’ generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum fackin’ danger. I do not shrink from this responsibility. Fack no–I welcome it. And so, cocksuckahs: ask not what your fackin’ country can do for you–ask what you can do for your fackin’ country.

-President John F. Kennedy in his inaugural address to the nation, January 20, 1961

A Quick Assessment

Before we begin dissecting regional linguistics terminologies, let’s get an idea of where you currently stand in your ability to speak and understand the Chowdah Belt dialect. Let’s start by looking at the following phrase:

“Shoot. I would have liked to have gone bowling with you tomorrow. Tomorrow, though, I am going to my Aunt Ginger’s home in Fall River.”

Now, close your eyes and try saying this phrase as you might imagine it being spoken by a sausage vendor outside of Boston’s Fenway Park. When you’re done, open your eyes and read the translation below:

“Fack. I rilly fackin’ woulda wanted ta go fackin’ bowlin’ wit ya tamarrah. Fack. Yeah, but tamarrah weh gwan to myant Gingah’s house in Fo-ahl Rivah.”

How did you do? If your version didn’t quite sound like this, don’t despair. Come back to it again after you’ve finished this lesson. You’re sure to improve with a little more practice! Right now, let’s learn a little more about the Chowdah Belt dialect, and one of its choicest phrases.

“Fuck”: A Word For All Seasons

Urban legend has it that the term “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge,” was coined in the 1600’s by Puritan leaders looking for a way to codify the behavior of adultery in their communities. Over time, the acronym “FUCK,” became a common term of derisive reference, often being branded into the foreheads of convicted adulterers, their children, their children’s grandparents and their children’s grandparent’s pets and livestock.

This was especially true during the Great Pewter Shortage of 1684, during which branding replaced the more accepted method of pouring hot pewter on the genitalia of convicted offenders while chanting “God loves you” and praising Jesus. The Puritans were a profoundly fucked-up group of people.

The hanging of Barnabus Jacobsen in 1723.

In America, Barnabus Jacobsen, a Plymouth blacksmith, is the first person credited with using the acronym in a manner apart from its Puritan origins. Working in his shop one day in 1721, Jacobsen lodged his hammer onto his thumb and let loose a “FUCK!!!” that reverberated like a musket discharge throughout the Plymouth town square. Use of “fuck” as a synonym for “ouch” quickly grew as a result and Jacobsen became a local celebrity for a time, reveling in his newfound prestige until he ran afoul of local clergy, was branded a witch and hanged in 1723. In his absence, the term “fuck” blossomed like a wondrous and lecherous seed carried aloft by the fart wind of a thousand drooling clowns.

Over the centuries, the word “fuck” has continued to grow like a weed, one that shoots up through every crack and fissure in the linguistic pavement of the New England cultural highway system. Given their natural affinity for linguistic playfulness, Chowdah Belt residents have twisted and hammered the word to fit into any sentence, any circumstance, and any social situation. When the occasion calls for dramatic emphasis, use the word “fuck” or one of its many imaginative colloquial variants (“fack,” “fucknut,” “fuckin’ ah…,” “fackin’ fuck”) to add spice to any ordinary phrase and impart a patina of Chowdah Belt authenticity to everyday conversation.

“Get the Fuck Out of Here” A Legendary Chowdah Belt Bons Mots Explained

“Git the fakata heeah, jerky!”

A common phrase used, alternately, to express feelings of doubt, surprise, disgust, excitement and incredulity is “get the fuck out of here,” a New England favorite still taught on the playgrounds of public elementary schools from Bangor to Block Island. Variations in cadence, volume and emphasis allow this phrase to be applied in a variety of situations with subtle differences in inference and implication. To master it, you should begin by practicing the correct phonetic structure, as follows:

get = git

the = tha

fuck out of = fa-ka-ta

here = hee-ah

get the fuck out of here = git tha fakata heeah

Familiarizing yourself with the essence of “get the fuck out of here” can take time for non-native New Englanders, so don’t be discouraged if you have trouble getting accustomed to using it in everyday conversation. If you aspire to speak authentic New England though, you must learn to wield this phrase effectively and without self-consciousness in any social situation. Here are five common idiomatic representations:

Surprise

Example: “You’re all outa Mocha Chip? What kinda ice cream joint is this? The fuck outa heeah.”

In this example the “get” is silent; a perfectly acceptable variation that can occur naturally when the speaker is agitated. Also acceptable is the extrapolation of “fakata” into “fuck” and “outa,” which is merely the result of a slower cadence.

Annoyance

Example: “Whaddya mean I’m too late to get an Egg McMuffin? Get the fakata heeah! It’s only 10:30!

“You call this chowdah? Yah fackin’ kiddin’ me, right?”

Disbelief

Example: “You put carrots in the chowdah? What are you, from fackin’ NebraskaGitthefakataheeah.”

Note how, in this example, extra emphasis is applied to “git.” This variation is common when the speaker wishes to express derision, implying that the person being addressed has performed an act of particular egregiousness. Here, the act of adding carrots to clam chowder has proven to be offensive to the speaker.

Shock

Example: “I got 20 people comin’ ova today and you’re tellin’ me that you’re all outa lobstah and steamah clams? Get. The fack. Outa heeah.”

In this case, “fakata” is abandoned in favor of the dramatic emphasis that comes with deliberate enunciation. Use this variation when you wish to intimidate the addressee into taking action to rectify an unsatisfactory situation. The implication is that a failure to make amends may provoke further action by the speaker.

“Hey A-Rod, you sahk!”

Astonishment

Example: “You got box seats for Friday’s Sox game? GITTHEFAKATAHEEAH!”

Applying Bay State Linguistics Principles to Everyday Situations; An Exercise

One of the best methods for assimilating Bay State linguistics strategies is to put them to work in common situations. Try to guess the correct colloquial iterations in each of the following social scenarios:

Neighborly Relations

What you’re trying to communicate:

“Sir, while I respect your dog’s need to void his defecatory matter, I must insist that you be more vigilant in managing the locations in which he performs his duty. Failing this, I may be forced to take matters into my own hands.”

How to say it using the Bay State Method:

Douchebag, you let that fahkin’ mutt drop one moah fackin’ poodle bomb on my fackin’ lawn, I will stuff this ice cahffee so fah up his feckin’ poodle sphinctah he’ll be poopin’ fackin’ hot steamin’ espresso chunks for the rest of his fahkin’ poodle life. Got it?”

Home Maintenance

What you’re trying to communicate:

“Tomorrow’s weather forecast calls for precipitation. Dadgumit! Looks like I’ll have to go get gasoline before I go to work.”

How to say it using the Bay State Method:

“Fackin’ snow? Jeesis fackin’ christ. Now I’m ganna half ta git up early and git gas fah tha fackin’ snowblowah tamarrah mahnin’. Fackin’ fack!

_____________

How did you do? At this point, you should be gaining an understanding for the correct methods of applying Bay State Method linguistics principles. Don’t feel discouraged if you’re having difficulty, though. Keep practicing and watch this space for the final lesson in our introductory series.

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